Sitting on a pile of rocks at 14,000 feet above sea level on the Quandary Peak Trail outside of Breckenridge Colorado – I am questioning myself. This is my first 14ker! I’m wondering what I am doing. I’m a little over 200 feet from the summit that is within view. My aged worn torn legs have nothing left in them to go further. Doubt has crept in. I had walked over 8 miles the day before through a park outside of Denver in my training to get in shape to hopefully climb Mt. Kilimanjaro in January to raise money for charity. I’m now worried about the energy needed from my wheels for the trip back down the mountain. I’m accompanied by the mid-thirty-year-old head of the charity, my first official mentee, who is itching to make the summit. He is going on no sleep from a night prior concert attended at Red Rocks. I have been slowing down, taking more and more breaks, in less and less time. My legs are tight and sore. My aged knees aching with each step. I was feeling guilty for holding him up. The picture above is from this vantage point. The views are majestic, yet I am in the name of the path I am on – a quandary. Do I go forward or retreat? I sit for what seems like an hour trying to decide. It was probably five minutes. So many thoughts go through my mind. The disappointment of not reaching my self-imposed goal of reaching the summit at 14,271 feet is at the forefront of my mind. I started the climb at 5 o’clock in the morning at around 10,000 feet. It was now a little past 11 am. and I am gassed.
I’m 66 years old and not in the top shape of my life. I have lost 20 pounds in the last six months in my level land walks at home in my training. I probably need to lose another 10 – 20 pounds. I was told by the surgeon who operated on my knee over five years ago that my one knee is bone on bone and will need a replacement in my future. I can’t run any longer to work out to hasten the loss of weight. I have done a half marathon, 150 miles on my bike and a triathlon in my past. But that is now years ago. I have willed myself to achieve many goals in my life. Do I will myself again? Can I? Disappointment for Failure of not reaching the summit as planned. OR Gratitude for the opportunity to climb to 14,000 feet in the Rockies as a 66-year-old? What would I choose?
I told my partner on the climb to go on. I was going to turn around and head back. I had chosen failure.
As I was sitting at the bottom of the trail waiting for an hour for my partner to return from the summit it gave me additional time to think again. I was grateful for the experience and for the opportunity to climb my FIRST 14,000 feet climb in the Rockies as a 66-year-old! It was beautiful. How many 66-year-olds ever get this opportunity? How many climb to 14,000 feet up a mountain? My guess is not too many. Yes, I did not reach the summit of 14,271 feet. Yes, I was disappointed in not achieving that goal. But I learned a lot from the failure. I learned that I have to step up my training in order to climb Mt. Kilimanjaro in January. I have learned from my reading on the subject that the climb is usually 2 to 3 hours a day. I had just climbed over twice that amount of time today. I chose BOTH – to learn from my failure AND to have the gratitude of climbing my FIRST 14,000-foot climb up a mountain.